As Snyder says, only certain women are capable of female ejaculation, and other experts agree. “It appears that female ejaculation has a physiological basis and cannot be learned,” says Michael Aaron, Ph.D., a certified sex therapist and clinical sexologist in New York. So, essentially, you’re either a squirter or you’re not. (Have more fun with masturbation with the JimmyJane Form 6 vibrator!)
So, besides actually having experienced squirting, is there a way to tell if you have the gift of gushing? The consensus among sex experts is no.
There’s not really any way to tell if you’re prone to waterworks or not. However, just because it’s never happened doesn’t mean it won’t, says Aaron. If you feel like you’re holding in a sudden urge to pee when you orgasm, that might just be the elusive squirt.
Check out these 14 crazy facts about your O!
And letting it go is nothing to be embarrassed about, says Sari Cooper, a certified sex therapist and director of the Center for Love and Sex in New York City. In fact, squirt-shaming yourself can lead to a less than healthy sex life. “If a women feels self conscious during sexual activities most likely her partner will pick up on it.” This can turn into a negative spiral of self consciousness in the bedroom, which can inhibit your O.
Whether you’ve squirted before or not, the experts caution against trying too hard to make it happen. “Trying for it may create extra pressure and an outcome-oriented approach to sex, so I don’t recommend it,” says Aaron.
The bottom line? It’s just as natural to squirt as it is not to. What matters is that you feel damn good about your O.